HOW TO: Keep Busy During Lockdown
Dear Raquel,
I live alone and I am so bored. What do you do to stay entertained? Help!!!!
Sincerely,
Bored & Alone
Dear Bored & Alone,
Great question that I’m positioned well to answer because unlike Beyoncé, I do not excel as a solo artist.
I live alone, too, which can be hard because I am social and like to be around people 98% of the time if given the choice. That being said, there is something pretty novel about only having to worry about yourself in a time in history where we have A TON of other things to spiral about. Take, for example, those people out there with full-on families. I’m no expert, but it seems like a particularly terrible time to have children with school constantly being cancelled and kids being baseline annoying in general. So on the bright side, at least we are both childless in our solitude.
Anyway, this isn’t the pain Olympics, everyone is having a tough time in their own way, regardless of your living situation. I’m just saying I’m glad the only thing I have to keep alive in my house is ME.
It doesn’t help the boredom factor though, I get that. Luckily for you I have some activities that should keep you busy for at least a week.
1) Make a list of all the things you want to do post-COVID: This is a fun one! You can be as crazy as you want to be. Jot down all the things you put off in the Before Time because baby, you’re getting to WORK once that vaccine hiiiiiit. Top of my list? Clear up my adult acne and kick the kombucha habit that’s eroding my molars. Once I do that, it’s over for you bitches! And sure, I don’t have to wait for the pandemique to end to make this happen but stress messes up my skin and fermented tea is a fun lil treat when I’m sick of tossing back water — it’s ALL I HAVE right now OK?! Next up on my list: promptly fulfill lifelong dream of becoming a Juggalo. Yup, you heard it here first — WOOP WOOP! My first trip post-’vid will be The Gathering, which is basically Coachella but in Ohio with far fewer flower crowns. This dream, for me, is akin to those people who go through some hardship and then randomly become religious, except in this case, Juggalos are ACTUALLY real. And you know what? They seem like lovely people. I have sensitive skin so the face paint is definitely a no-go but I’ll drink Faygo, sure, if there’s a zero cal option. Not sold? Watch one of my all-time favourite documentaries AMERICAN JUGGALO to learn more!
2) Find Something that Gives You Meaning: Even though everything is VERY BAD, I embarrassingly want to keep living and not just because there would be something exceptionally tragic about croaking with only 189 Twitter followers. My therapist told me I need to find something that gives me meaning, so I’m going to save you some serious coin and relay that advice here. Like Chrissy Teigen riding a horse and posting about it on Twitter, YOU need to find some meaning in your life too! It’s why I write this FOOLISH blog each week.
3) Make some noise: Morning to night I blast music or podcasts which I can do ad-free now that I finally cracked and got a Spotify premium membership, which is to say Casey purchased a family plan and added me (daddy provides for her girly!!!!). Thanks to her, I’m either jamming out to a chaotic playlist or listening at full blast to harrowing stories about young, attractive white women being murdered. My neighbours definitely hate me, and I’ll admit the volume IS uncomfortably high, but it’s not my fault I wrecked my hearing circa ‘08 blasting “Get Buck in Here” over and over again on my iPod Nano. Anyway, all day long I have someone else’s voice booming out of a portable speaker that I take with me everywhere I go in my tiny apartment, which can do wonders for helping you forget how palpable your loneliness is.
4) Watch Schitt’s Creek: It is SO rare that a Canadian show is actually good that I just have to plug this even though I feel like everyone already knows. At first I didn’t believe the hype but I was bored one night and decided to give it a whirl. It’s on Netflix and if you don’t have an account I’ll give you my sister’s login credentials (shhhhhh). It’s such a heartwarming and funny show but not in a cringe way. I truly love all the characters and when I watch it, I feel so immersed it’s like I’m part of the family. Also, I think we can all agree Dan Levy is HOT HOT HOT. I am soooo attracted to him — I think it’s the eyebrows?
5) Watch the documentary “There’s Something Wrong with Aunt Diane”: Trust me, you will watch this and be unable to think about anything else for at least a week. You will quite possibly forget you’re in lockdown all by your lonesome because Reddit will become your new BFF. I have seen it upwards of eight times and it doesn’t get old. If you do end up watching it, message me about it so I can get your hot take. It’s on Amazon Prime but you can also rent it on YouTube for four bucks.
6) DJ UNK Says WAlK iT oUt! At this point in the pandemic I walk so much it’s like I’m training for a really slow, really sad marathon. I put in a podcast or music or call a friend and then I go to town, literally and figuratively. I walk everywhere! Minimum two hours every day — and THAT’S a brag! On the weekends I’ve been known to clock over 25km. My hips have never been tighter but tbh neither has my butt HA.
That’s all I’ve got for now.
